Nationalism at its best (and its worst)

It's been a little over a week since the 8.0 earthquake hit Sichuan. I've been following the news, trying to digest the photos, the news reports, and the ever rising death toll, and having an extremely hard time trying to put into words all the feelings bubbling up inside.

I guess in the simplest terms, all those feelings amount to... I am extremely extremely upset and distraught. And I've actually been wondering if there's some special kind of therapy for or psychological term for the kind of trauma one experiences from events that one hasn't actually experienced personally. Cuz whatever kind of trauma that is, I think I've got it.

A few days ago, one of my students said, "This is a very bad year for China." Ain't that the truth. What with the disruptions in the Olympic Torch Relay, the protests in Tibet, the boycott of the Olympics, and now the Sichuan earthquake, it has indeed been a very bad year for China.

On Monday of this week, we observed a 3 minute moment of silence beginning at 2:28 pm, at the exact time the earthquake occurred a week earlier. I stood silently, with my students, arms folded across my chest, eyes downward, and all I could hear were the blaring of cars horns. It sounded like air raid sirens. My body was shivering, and all I could think was, "I want to cry right now, but I can't."

In my time here, I've had my ups and downs with Chinese nationalism. At some point during my stay here, I've felt a deep connection with China and all things Chinese. Other times, I simply couldn't believe how repressive the government was. But even with all the issues I have with the way things are done here, somewhere inside of me I still have a deep, deep love for China and Chinese people (What can I say, the kool-aid is quite effective). And so when I see the footage of the earthquake victims, I can't help but think, "Those are my people suffering. When they suffer, I suffer." And it has everything to do with being Chinese.

And that is nationalism at its best. I know I'm generalizing, but I don't think it would be a stretch to say that other Chinese people probably feel the same way I do. "Those are my people. What can I do to help my fellow people?" I am impressed by the level of selflessness the majority of people here have expressed. I am impressed, but not surprised. It's not surprising because people here are helping out of sheer love for their country. They love their country, so when they see that a part of their country is suffering, they will do everything in their power to relieve that suffering.

I did just read a New York Times article though that commented on how remarkable it is the government is allowing such a large public involvement in the matter. It is actually the first time the Chinese government has ever accepted foreign aid for a disaster. Again I argue, it is all out of love for China and their fellow Chinese people. (I guess even the Chinese bureaucrats can put their egos aside to provide help to those who need it).

And with all this news coverage (I'm talking 24/7 coverage of relief efforts), I've heard many a discussion about comparisons to the tsunami in 2004, Myanmar, and Hurricane Katrina. One of my colleagues today said that the lightning fast response of the Chinese government officials to the earthquake really puts the U.S. to shame, particularly in regards to Hurricane Katrina. And I have to agree. What happened with Hurricane Katrina was an absolute catastrophe. But I have to say that, among other things, it had everything to do with race. And that is one area where China has it a lot less complicated. That's not to say that there's no racism in China, or that everyone living in China is Han Chinese (in fact, there are over 50 ethnic minority groups living in China), but it just isn't so blatantly obvious (well actually, sometimes it is, but people just don't label it racism).

Now I hate to play the speculation game, but you all have heard those comments like, "If Hurricane Katrina had hit a rich, white area instead of a poor, black one, would the government response be just as slow?" And now I pose a similar hypothetical question, "If the earthquake hit one of the areas in China comprised primarily of an ethnic minority group, say Tibet, would the public response be just as unwaveringly supportive?" Now I know this is all speculative, but I would argue that the answer would be No. I think there would be a sense of hesitation from the uber-nationalist Chinese people, some self-satisfied feelings like, "Well Tibetans, doesn't that teach you a lesson about biting the hand that feeds you?" and who knows, maybe even a bit of resentment if there was a strong international outpour of support for Tibet (nationalism at its worst). But there's really no use in playing this game now.

Though quite honestly, I think much of the strong sense of empathy expressed has to do with seeing those news reports and being able to physically identify with the victims of the quake, being able to sit there and think, "That could be me, or my sister, or my mother, or my grandmother."

My heart goes out to all those displaced and affected by the earthquake. It scares and pains me to think about what those people who lost everything will do now (and how the government will (or won't) step in to help them).

And to end with some additional food for thought. So the Chinese government has the People's Liberation Army (the national Chinese military force) doing a bulk of the relief work. On the one hand, way to consolidate resources, multi-task and make use of organized people power, China. On the other hand, that just means the military is really powerful and is pretty much ready to be dispatched in full force to any situation at the beck and call of the CPC. Hmmm..... (and sadly, history has already shown how this second scenario could be to the detriment of the people).

My life does not exist in a vacuum

It's been over a month since my last post. A lot has happened since, and I've been trying my best to process all that is going on around me. I have to admit that I've been silent for a while because I have been struggling to find the words to describe the amazing experience I had last month, when I connected with distant family in Southern China.

But today, I decided that it's important for me to brush off the laziness, and write.

If you've been following the news, you'll know that starting last Monday, there were anti-China protests going on in Tibet. The protests have escalated into rioting, and the Chinese government has issued a curfew in Lhasa, warning people to stay indoors for the next few DAYS.

But what you probably don't know, is the Chinese government's spin on this whole thing. First of all, the coverage of the protests is extremely extremely minimal. The story is briefly mentioned and is talked about as if the situation has been completely resolved (the few stories recently published focus on the cleaning up of debris in the streets and the reopening of shops, as well as quotes from residents expressing the sheer normalcy of their lives).

Not only that, but the news reports also put all the negative focus on the rioters, portraying them as unreasonable, lawless individuals whose only motivation is to disturb the peaceful lives of those living in Tibet. There is no discussion of the protesters' political aims, and absolutely no mention of the aggressive actions of the Chinese military force. In fact, the Chinese police force are seen as innocent victims of the unruly protesters/rioters.

Probably the scariest part of this situation is how absolutely powerful the Chinese government is. The government announced that all protesting in Tibet and neighboring regions must end by midnight on Sunday (or else). (The "or else" is of my own adding, but it is very obviously implied by the decree). This really frightens me, because well, 1989 has already shown us what the Chinese government is capable of when they threaten "or else." They ain't bluffing; that's for sure.

So in my attempts to educate myself further in this topic, I've encountered as many problems as I expected to. Surprise surprise, all pages regarding Tibet are "inaccessible."

I've often talked about this casually in the past, but as you know, China has got a national firewall. This means, the Chinese government is constantly monitoring internet usage and actively censoring websites they deem inappropriate. I am not even exaggerating when I say that I am legitimately scared about what I write in this blog. (I guess the only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that all blogspot web addresses are already censored anyways! Though I really shouldn't joke about this. In the past, Chinese bloggers have gotten in serious serious trouble for criticizing the government in their personal blogs. So yes, I am actually a little scared.)

So what are some websites that are blocked in China, Wendy? Well, BBC News, youtube (sometimes), xanga, blogspot, all pages related to controversial Chinese topics (I won't list them here, since obviously the searches are keywords based, but I feel that they're pretty obvious) (and when I say all pages, I mean if you went to Google and searched for a controversial topic, you wouldn't even get any pages related to that topic in your search results), and most notably, Wikipedia. Access by anyone to any information, for free?? The government knows just how dangerous that can be.

And nearly every day I am reminded that I absolutely do not understand this country. And I make no claims to even begin understanding China. This country just functions on a completely different level than the U.S. It's something that cannot be put into words; it's just something that needs to be experienced.

I guess my conclusion to all this is that when it comes to authority in China, there is definitely an absolute right/wrong. And those authority figures really do take a "by any means necessary" attitude when it comes to enforcement. It's a kind of unwavering, clear-cut, and narrowly defined concept of right and wrong, of actions in violation and actions in obedience with the law (social laws and norms included). Based on history, and based on my own experiences here in Beijing (with security guards and police officers and domestic violence), I will say that I am deeply frightened by the amount/strength of force this country can inflict on human beings, simply in the exercise of power. I am even more frightened by the fact that I wholeheartedly believe that this country will really do whatever the fuck it takes to keep its people in line.

I'm not really sure what flavor kool-aid I was sipping when I went through my Chinese nationalist phase, but it's definitely worn off. And now for the first time, I'm taking a real hard look at all the issues China has in regards to violation of human rights. And I've got to say, I don't entirely know how I feel about being in this country. But who am I to talk really? I am a citizen, after all, of a country whose president recently vetoed a ban on the use of torture in CIA interrogations.

**Crossing my fingers hoping I seriously won't regret publishing this post when the Chinese feds come knocking on my door**