beijing is a little bizarre at times.

Today was xmas eve in Beijing. Another teacher, Brandy, and I went to an Italian restaurant named Annie's Italian Experience. I had awesome penne with creamy white sauce, a Caesar salad, bread dipped in oil, vinegar and pesto, a glass of white wine, and one of the best tiramisu's I've had in my entire life. All for about 10 US dollars. It was really really awesome. And the plate of pasta was so huge that I have leftovers that I am going to eat for breakfast tomorrow, woohoo!

After dinner, Brandy and I went to this bar called the People's Bus Bar, which was pretty much a trailer in a parking lot converted to a bar. They had 10 kuai (= $1.35 USD) giant mugs of draft beer and the dj was spinning an awesome mix of reggaeton and hip-hop, my fave.

So in case you didn't know, there is no legal drinking age in China. That means, little kids as young as five (or 1 even) can buy beer (and presumably drink it), though most shopkeepers simply assume that a five year old is buying beer for parents, and not guzzling the stuff themselves. Anyhow, I mention that because at the bar that we were in, there was a 3 year old tottering around. YES! At 11pm, someone brought a 3 year old in a BAR! I'm pretty sure her parents were wasted, and the little 3 year old was running around the dance floor hugging people. The kid was sooo cute, I wanted to dance with her.

So, I checked the weather for Beijing today on weather.com and the weather condition for today in Beijing is... SMOKE. No joke. I mean, I've seen Partly Cloudy, Sunny, Windy, Showers, etc. but never ever in my entire life have I seen SMOKE as a weather condition. Seriously? That's ridiculous. I had to copy and paste it just to prove to everyone it's true. And yep, it's cold in Beijing (though that's the temperature for the middle of the night and the wee early morning; usually we're in the 30s or 40s during the day.).






Also, on the way to dinner tonight I saw a car on the highway that was smoking and on fire! It was absolutely crazy.

Other random events of the day/night: I found a Coldstone ice cream place in Beijing! I wandered around a fancy schmance hotel (China World Hotel). And I went to a swing dance club earlier tonight!

i'm feeling good.

I'm feeling great. No more homesickness. No more annoyance (okay, well, less annoyance). No more depression. Still confused, but that's expected. I've been keeping in touch with my family a lot recently, which is making me happy. I'm excited about being able to go home for my sister's wedding (I'll be in L.A. and in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico during Memorial Day weekend). I'm not sick anymore! (well technically I still have a dry cough, but it's not as bad as being sick and having a cold sore). I just cleaned my room, so now I have a nice serene environment to be in. And I've found a friend here that I really like hanging out with. So things in the life of Wendy are going well.

I was also put in charge of (against my will of course) planning a holiday concert at my school, where all the students performed Christmas songs. I didn't volunteer to do the planning, but since the Director of Teaching Affairs was leaving early (and he was supposed to plan it), he cornered me and asked me to take over since he knows I'm ridiculously organized. Even though it was more work (that I didn't get any extra pay for), part of me really missed planning events. I didn't get stressed out from it, and everything went smoothly. And I got sooo much affirmation from the other teachers, during the process and afterwards, it was great. I was shocked actually at how good these people were at affirming, but it is nice to be appreciated so much.

And earlier this week, we had a staff holiday dinner at an all-you-can-eat (and drink!) Japanese restaurant. I stuffed my face with so much raw fish, it was awesome. And I got ridiculously drunk from drinking mugs and mugs of beer, plus I had to chug with one of my bosses. Kinda awkward, but oh so fun.

Gymnastics at the new Olympic stadium

For those of you who miss the sound of my voice, you can watch this little video clip and listen to me narrate. :)

my first snow fall in beijing!

everybody!! it snowed in beijing today!!!! seeing as how i'm slowly dying from a cold that is never going away, of course my body got even more frightened, but it was absolutely beautiful this morning. a nice light blanket of white snow covering everything. and it was so peaceful running to class this morning with little snowflakes falling on my face.

this would be an absolutely perfect post if i could post a picture of the white powdery snow, but i didn't bring my camera with me today. and by the time i got back to my place, it was dark, and dreary and gray, and most of the snow got dirty and icy.

the temperature here is in the 30s, straddling "technically freezing" and "feels like freezing." either way, it's really freaking cold, and i would give up the snow to have warm, sunny weather any second now.

i'm seriously worried.

i'm sick again. for those of you who talk to me regularly, you know that i just got over being sick about a week ago. and i'm sick again. so in the past 4 weeks, i've spent 3 of those 4 weeks being sick. this is not okay. something is not right. the awful part is that, it's just a cold. day after day after day, it's just a sore throat, sniffliness, congestion, slight cough. never a fever. never vomiting. never anything to get serious about, until the symptoms last for weeks!

for anyone who reads the New York Times, you'll know that they have, essentially, a China bashing series (remember that this is coming from Chinese nationalist Wendy). and the latest one is about truck pollution and their use of cheap, low grade diesel fuel. now normally, I read the series and I wholly acknowledge the problem the article addresses as a serious one for China, but I have usually have an immediate nationalist reaction of "Oh yeah?! Well, well, the United States has got a shit-ton of its own damn problems so shut up!" but this time, i was more than a hundred percent on board with the author.

and in the past few days, i have been thinking that it's got to be a combination of the dry, cold weather, my overall lack of healthy exercising behavior, and the freaking pollution that is killing me here. now i completely recognize that my not exercising regularly and irregular sleeping pattern is unhealthy and harmful, but those behaviors have, unfortunately, been my bad habits for the past 4 years. what has been different is that it's really freaking cold here, the air quality is absolutely in the shitter, and i strain my voice constantly.

the pollution is 100 times worse than L.A. and i've lived in L.A. my entire life, so that's saying a fucking lot. okay, so in L.A. we have the haze, and we have the layer of brown that lingers right above buildings, which eventually fades into blue skies. but hey, at least in l.a. it eventually fades out. in beijing, there are days, when literally, the entire sky is gray, and it's from the pollution. not to mention the fact that regulations regarding emissions are not even remotely close to being as strict as they are in the states, and that cigarette smoking is allowed everywhere (and the cigarettes are a lot worse for your health here too). so yes, i am worried for my health.

I hope that when the weather gets warmer, I won't get sick as much. But seriously I'm worried. What if I never get better and I have to go home early? That's going to suck.

Yet another reason, I don't want to teach as a career: You can't ditch your own classes when you feel sick or tired. I am exposed to coughing, sniffling students all day (about 60 different ones), and then when I'm sick I have to continue talking and I don't get time to heal. And on top of that, I'm cranky and the students don't respond well to a cranky, sick teacher.

oh yeah, and i get cold sores here, since i get them when my immune system is down. and since i'm sick all the time, that means yep, cold sores all the time. real attractive, teacher.

sorry, i didn't mean for that to sound all pissy. But I'm sick, and I don't like it.

I know this is going to sound weird...

but I just have to say that I freaking love China. Like, I really really really like China. True, it's got it's problems like any other country, and don't even get me started on the Chinese government, but there is something about China, and the Chinese language, and the Chinese culture that I freaking love with a passion. And I never thought that I would feel this strongly about it, but I really do.

Sometimes I just have these moments, like last Friday when I went to the LaoShe Teahouse to watch Peking Opera and other performances, where I just sat in complete awe, almost child-like, thinking about how absolutely wonderful China is. And I have moments where I keep repeating to myself, "Being Chinese is so freaking cool!" And I feel so proud to be Chinese. Now, if I weren't Chinese American, all the stuff I'm saying would sound disgustingly fetishizing, but since I am Chinese American, I guess it's okay? Anyways, that's not the point. The point is that coming to China has helped me appreciate being Chinese (maybe it's a result of the Chinese nationalist propaganda that's filtered down from the locals I interact with?).

I'm really surprised to feel this much Chinese pride, cuz I never have before. It's gotten to the point where I feel super defensive when I read American newspaper articles about the pollution, or other environmental problems, or the factory mishaps.

And growing up in a super racially charged part of L.A., I was always a little ashamed of being Chinese, getting the ching-chong-changs from other school children, getting made fun of for packing "dog food" for lunch to school, hating my parents for speaking Chinese loudly to me in a supermarket. And I hated the idea of returning to the "motherland" to "find my roots," if only because I had some self-loathing issues and I didn't want to admit that I was any different than a white American.

The first time I came to Beijing, I felt no connection to China at all. I completely felt like a visitor in a foreign country, except things were slightly familiar. And in fact, I didn't get that "return to the motherland" feeling until I visited Vietnam 2 years ago, and thought, "This, this is where my parents were born and grew up," even though I had absolutely no grasp of the language. But this time around, coming back to Beijing, felt a bit like returning home, coming back to a familiar place. And as much as I miss home and love L.A., I love China just as much, with all its contradictions, and random quirks, and fucked-up government issues. I can't wait to visit southern China, where people speak my family's dialect, where the food is more rice based (screw dongbei cai and their freaking mantou; of course I'm biased so I think southern Chinese food tastes better than northern Chinese food), and where my daddy's family is.

I have so much desire to become fluent in Chinese but none of the discipline or self-motivation.

Mrmrmrrrraaaahhhhh!!!!!!!

I cannot believe that it's the end of November already. November has absolutely just flown by. To be honest, I think I'm still stuck in October. It's one of those feelings, where you blink, and 4 weeks of your life have gone by, and you ask yourself, "What the hell have I been doing with all my time?"

Since I've been in school my entire life, my ability to tell time has always been aided by school holidays, Thanksgiving, winter break. This time I don't have that. In fact my "winter break" doesn't come until the end of January.

This year, I celebrated Thanksgiving by having a buffet dinner at the Radisson hotel in Beijing. It was actually quite delicious. I thought it would be majorly depressing, but it was really cozy, and nice; the two delicious glasses of red wine helped, I'm sure.

And now, it's getting colder. And everyone is bundled up in thick coats, scarves, hats, boots, and mittens. And as much as I hate materialism and commercialization, there is something so comforting about the commercial holiday season. I have newly discovered the SoHo area in the Central Business District, and I find myself constantly wanting to curl up in a fat cozy chair in the local Starbucks or schmancy coffee shop. Marketers have definitely done their job right when people feel that going to your cheesy coffee shop with tacky plastic snowflakes hanging from the ceiling "just feels right" and reminds you of "home."

Commercial Christmas has definitely made it to Beijing. And it's not just commercial holiday season; it's commercial Christmas. And most Chinese people don't even think of Christmas as a Christian holiday; it's really quite telling.

I guess the point of this post is that, as much as I'm homesick, I've found so much comfort in that special something looming in the air at this time of year. The cold weather, begging you to buy cute sweaters, and overpriced coffee, and baked goods. I have so many mixed feelings about Christmas, which I guess is how I feel about most things in life. Ah Wendy, always complicating things.

I must have sucker written all over me.

because on Saturday, someone tried to steal my shit.

This past Saturday, after skyping with my family, I took the bus to go see the Olympic Stadium construction site (ie. the Bird's Nest). I found a feature on Google China that lets you type in a starting point and destination, and it'll tell you which bus line to take. The only catch is that the entire website is in Chinese, so yeah. I didn't realize how much of a problem it would be till I actually got on the road.

So I took the 731 bus. I didn't know exactly how to pronounce the bus stop I should get off at (to transfer to the second bus); I just knew the stop had the word west in it. So stupid me, I heard a stop with the word west in it and jumped off the bus. Wrong stop. In fact I was 6 stops too early. And let me just tell you I chose the worst day to go see the stadium because it was soo foggy and cold. So I had to stand in the cold waiting for the next bus.

The next one came, and it was super crowded. But this time around, I overshot and missed my stop. So I had to get off again and take the bus in the opposite direction (again super crowded). This time around, I swallowed my pride and asked someone to tell me when the stop came so I could get off (sometimes when it comes to navigation, I get kinda stubborn). But I didn't realize that I would have to walk several blocks to get to the transfer bus. I didn't feel like walking (most likely getting lost) in the cold so I just took a taxi to the Stadium.

Even though the construction of the stadium looks pretty much finished, it is still essentially a construction site, so we couldn't go in at all. The best we could do was climb on a giant dirt rock, to peak over the construction fencing. Again, it was super foggy, so my pictures aren't that great. I met some old women from Hong Kong, and it felt good to practice my Cantonese again. Also, I found a TGI Friday's next to the stadium. I spent the next hour or so, following random people around. I saw that some people were able to walk into the construction site, and I wanted to find out how, so I decided to follow people around and try to sneak in after them. After a few duds, I finally followed the right family. I was able to go past the guards, and go into the living area where the construction workers live. And I was able to walk even closer to the area surrounding the stadium. I couldn't enter the inner construction zone, since there were more guards (and by then I had departed from my "family") who had clipboards to check people in with hard hats, so I decided to wander out with my crappy ass foggy pictures.

After that, I took the subway to WangFuJing. There I walked around this giant shopping mall (which has super upscale stores like Louis Vuitton and Coach, the real stuff). They even have a Beard Papa's. It's kinda crazy, the feeling of wealth in that place. The stuff they sell there is expensive even on American standards, so I'm just like, "Who the hell can actually afford all this stuff? And why the hell are we wasting so much damn space and resources on this shit for the small percentage of rich Chinese people and rich expats, when there are thousands of hungry poor people in this country?" It made me feel disgusting.

And hypocrite Wendy, an hour later, I went to the official Olympics store and bought way overpriced souvenirs for my family. And I went to the Metersbonwe store (if someone can give me a non-idiot way to pronounce this word, I'd greatly appreciate it) and bought myself a knee length fluffy black down jacket, because it is freaking cold now. After lots of ups-and-downs with the ATM machine, I finally got all the crap I needed and popped into a McDonald's to sit down and organize my crap (I feel more comfortable loitering in American places).

I set my purse on the table and notice that there's a cut on the side. Silly stupid me, I think to myself, "Huh, did I put a sharp pencil in my bag?" Upon further inspection, I find that someone had made 3 short razor cuts in my bag. Someone had cut my bag to try to steal my stuff!!! Lucky me, nothing was missing. Even though there were 3 razor cuts, only 1 of the cuts made it through the inner liner, and earlier that day I had bought 2 pashminas and stuffed them into my bag. So lucky lucky lucky me, I escaped potential disaster. The thing that makes me feel so stupid though is that I have no idea when it happened and I didn't even notice it, ALL DAY! Thinking back now, it probably happened on the bus, when everyone was shoved so close together. And one thing I wonder is, if someone saw this happening, if someone saw that a person was cutting into my bag to steal my stuff, would anyone speak up and do anything? (Flashback to the cafeteria fight scene). Hmm, I wonder.

Wow, this was wayy too long to tell an anti-climactic story.

Later I'll post pictures of the Olympic stadium and my fun time at the LaoShe teahouse watching Peking Opera and other Chinese performances.

Some food for thought, ever wondered why old things in China are referred to as "ancient" whereas old things in Europe are referred to as "historical?" Here are some vocabulary things I hate, but can't seem to find a practical solution to while living here in China, using "modern" to describe very specific processes and "Western" and "the West" to describe things not Chinese.

beijing drivers are kuhrayzee.

and you know I mean it, cuz I reserve that spelling of crazy for things that are at the highest levels of the crazy meter.

wah wah wah, you've heard this a dozen times, "Beijing traffic is horrible." I'm sure you're thinking, "Well it can't be worse than L.A." Trust me. It is. A lot worse. But I'm not going to talk about the traffic. I guess it's kinda obvious, in a country with a population of 1.3 billion people, and a city with a population of 13 million people, that traffic would be kinda horrendous.

But it's the drivers, that make the traffic situation in Beijing that much more colorful. On bad days, I want to slap someone and scream because sometimes it just doesn't make sense. Honestly. Living in Beijing makes me appreciate the law-abiding drivers in L.A.

When it comes to driving in Beijing, nearly everything is fair game. I'm talking making a U-turn into oncoming traffic, reversing on a one-way street, driving through construction sites, blocking multiple lanes of traffic in order to make a simple three-point turn. Oh yeah, I've seen it all. And what's worse, there are jaywalkers everywhere. I guess it's not called jay-walking here; it's just called making your way across the street. Since cars have the right of way in Beijing, there ain't no way a pedestrian is going to make it across the street unless they're aggressively walking into traffic (think Frogger), pausing between lanes as cars accelerate by.

I don't know how many times I've been in near accidents. Cars often don't signal when switching lanes, so you can imagine how this can get ugly if a person isn't being attentive. So many a time I've had a car swerve into my lane, only to realize at the last minute that oopsy daisy, there's another car there! And one of the few awful things that pop into my head are, "Wow, now I know why people say Chinese people are bad drivers." Cuz of this crazy shit! But if anything, this doesn't make them bad drivers, but more skillful.

I've got so many crazy car stories to share, this post could go on for ages. Like, last Monday, I took a cab to the Qinghua campus, and on the way there, the cab I was in hit another car. We drove down a side road, a road I had been down before. In previous times, the road was filled with people (on the actual road, not only the sidewalks), and the cab I was in was literally weaving left and right, accelerating, and honking at people to get out of his way. On this day however, there weren't as many people, but it was still a tight squeeze. And out of nowhere I hear this thud sound and I gasp loudly, because I know that we hit something. At first I wasn't sure if he would pull over or not, but he eventually did. Turns out, his right view mirror hit the left view mirror of another car and both mirrors were bent out of shape. I didn't really know what to do. There I was, in this cab, with the meter running, and scared that I would be late for work. I decided to run away, even though as I was trying to leave the men assured me that they'd wrap up their conversation quickly. Hm, I've been in China long enough to know that "quickly" can mean hours, so I left.

What other crazy stories do I have to share? So last month, I had a pretty traumatizing cab experience. I was in the front seat of a cab, with two other teachers in the back. We were taking a cab home from a birthday dinner. We had made a stop at a subway station to drop someone off, and now the cab driver had to go through back roads to make a U-turn deal. So we were driving down this one small-ish, dark road. Everything seemed to be normal. There were some people on the road up ahead, the cab driver honked a lot and accelerated down the street (this was all very normal). But out of nowhere, the cab driver kinda swerves a bit, then jerks to a stop. And at the front of the cab, I see a man's bicycle (he was standing next to the bicycle) fall over. Then I see the man grabbing at his hip, and stumbling, and fall to the ground.

OH MY GOD. Did we just hit that man? Did we just fucking crash into the man?! I was shocked and scared and speechless. The next thing that happened was even more frightening though. The cab driver, backed up really really fast (since it was a narrow road, and the guy's body was lying in the middle of it, so the only way out was to back up), made a 3 point turn and drove away really fast. I started yelling at the cab driver, I was so freaked out. Is this really happening!? Did he just fucking hit a guy!? He can't actually just drive away can he?! What's going to happen to that man?! I just spewed curse words and questions for the next ten minutes. And I was completely traumatized because I was in the front seat, and I saw the man's bicycle fall over. After a while though, the other teachers were able to calm me down.

And we started to piece together the facts. And some of this is going to sound absolutely awful and crude. One of the teachers had been told that some people in China in fact fake being hit by a car, because you can apparently get lots of money from the person who hits you. So we thought about what just happened. We didn't hear a thud or the sound of anything actually hitting the car. We just felt the car brake suddenly. The other teachers thought that the way the man grabbed his side and fell was a bit theatrical. The man was standing on the left side of his bicycle, and the cab was on the right side of the bicycle, so we should've been able to hear the sound of his bike hitting the car if it happened; and the impact would've have affected him that much since he was on the other side of the bike. And finally, his friend who was there the whole time, didn't react at all. He just stood there, unfazed. So after all this detective work, I decided that the man probably didn't get hit by the cab, and probably wasn't left for dead in the middle of the road, if only for my own peace of mind. But it still doesn't change the fact that I was absolutely freaked out and traumatized when it happened.

And you know what else is scary? Over worked cab drivers who fall asleep at the wheel. um-hmm. Whenever I go out late at night, I see rows of cabs parked on the street; and about half the time, the driver is passed out on the wheel of the car. It's really quite sad. As I go to more places in Beijing and talk to more workers, I've realized that, at least in the service industry, the normal work day is 12 hours long. For some cab drivers, I'm sure it's even longer.
Talking about buses is a whole other story. It seems that some bus drivers drive forgetting that they've got a bus load of standing passengers to consider. So the result is lots of sudden accelerating and braking, and other jerking (so people are literally falling all over each other), and lots of crazy ass loud honking. Sometimes I get carsick just thinking about it.

Missing pieces

There is such a difference between being critical and being negative. As anyone who knows me at all knows, I am extremely critical. Some would say critical to a fault. But I don't think so. I am critical of nearly everything, television, music, social interactions; but it doesn't prevent me from enjoying myself or being happy. And I hate when people silence me because they don't want me to be a "downer" and they think I should just enjoy life, the moment. Well guess what, as perverse as it sounds, one of the things I enjoy most about life is being critical.

It's Thanksgiving time. And of course, the topic of being critical comes up in my head because as much as I appreciate the mainstream sentiment of Thanksgiving and it being a holiday to appreciate the people and things in our lives, I can't help but question what it is we're celebrating, and the history that has been forgotten in the process.

I'm tired of being around people who only talk about themselves.

Feeling a lot better.

I am trying to take a very proactive approach to life right now. I am not just going to lay in bed and whine and feel sorry for myself (even though I really really want to do this).

So Monday was the day when I felt like I wanted to cry in class. And I was really dreading Wednesday, because that's when I would see my CSP Qinghua class again, and that's the class I have a really hard time with. But I decided that if I am going to dread it that much, then I better be trying my damned hardest to make it as pleasant as possible. So I decided to design a class period that was completely activity based with as little of me talking as possible. AND it worked beautifully. They were energetic, and I was able to direct all that lovely energy towards the activity. So I felt a lot better with myself. It'll take a lot more effort thinking of activities for the students, but I think the students appreciate it. And it will make me feel a lot more effective. So yes Wendy, in order to be a good teacher, you must work hard at it. Oh, I knew this all along.

And last night after work, I walked from the Qinghua campus to Silk Street market. I love cities. And I love walking in cities. And I love walking in cities at night when there are so many pretty lights. And it reminded me of all the things I love about Beijing. I think it was good for me to take myself out of my room for a night, and just explore the city.

So things aren't perfect, but things can be better as long as I make an effort to try. So that will be my plan. Upswing. upswing. upswing.

And my ish with people? It comes and goes. There are those moments I want to slap someone, but I just need to remember to breathe and breathe.

Whew. Patience, Wendy, patience. I hope I come back from China a better, more mature person.

My students

I want to take the time to write about my students and each of my classes. For most, if not all of you, this will be very boring. But I am going to write out every mundane detail anyways. This will be a chance for me to rant and just address and release any frustration I currently hold about teaching. For those of you who have not read my "I'm so depressed!" post on my other blog, long story short, I have been overcome with a wave of inexplicable, intense sadness and I don't know how to stop it. But I figure talking about every possible thing on my mind might help. Let's start with my students, the people I see every day, whether I want to or not.

Let's start by saying, I now feel quite strongly that I do not want to become a teacher. I don't know how many people who go to foreign countries to teach English have a real desire to teach; but before coming to China, I actually considered teaching as a possible career. But I also wanted to have the chance to travel before having to have a real job. So I figured that teaching English in China would give me the opportunity to 1) try out teaching without having to make a big commitment (ie. teach, but not have to teach a full 40 hour week), 2) escape the United States and travel, and 3) learn Chinese (though I don't know how successful I am being with this). But after having taught (at only 20 hours a week) here in China, I am extremely confident, that at this point in my life, I do not want to become a teacher when I return to Los Angeles. A number of reasons, which we will get into later.

Now about my students.

So I teach 5 different sets of students. That is quite a large number considering some teachers here teach only 3 sets of students.

Let's talk about my favorite set of students. They're my CSP1 section (CSP means that they're at the intermediate level of English).

Let's make a digression to explain the classification of students' abilities. My school divides the students into 3 levels. QP is the absolute beginner's level, meaning many of these students would not understand a single sentence spoken to them in English. I do not teach any QP classes. CSP is the intermediate level. Obviously there is a wide range of students in this level. Some of the students can communicate decently in English, and can understand most of what I say to them as long as I speak very slowly. However, there are some students who just string together words, that are obviously translated directly from Chinese. And finally, there are the GES students who are the most advanced in the school. These students can understand nearly everything I say, but again only when I speak slowly, and can respond fairly well in a complete sentence. All those letters actually stand for something, but it doesn't really matter since the abbreviations are only used in my school anyways.

Okay, back to my CSP1 students. I teach these students writing and a class called "World Cultures." I do not develop curricula for any of my classes. I am given text books and I pretty much just teach straight from the text book. I see my World Cultures class everyday, and so of course I am the most attached to them and favor these students over other students. In world cultures, I pretty much spend each week talking about a different region in the world and talking about geography, landforms, cash crops, etc. Imagine elementary school social science class. I love these students. They're super well-behaved. They respond to me when I ask them questions. I feel that they respect me, and I think that they like me. These are the students that I went to karaoke (or KTV as it's called here) with, and these are the students I went to dinner with (in the picture below). And I went shopping with some students in this class. I just really like these students, mainly because they listen to me, they do their work, and they like me, inside of class and out.

Now for my other CSP sections, I only see them twice a week. Writing class only meets twice a week. And quite frankly, I feel like I cannot be effective in it because 2 hours a week is simply not enough hours. And the book is kinda crappy, and the students are at such varied levels, I really don't know what to do to make sure that everyone gets the most out of it.

My CSP2 section is the class with the most trouble students. The overall English ability of this entire section is a lot lower than the ability of my CSP1 section (even though technically they are categorized as the same level, so should know the same material at the end of the year). This class has got the students that skip class a lot and students that fall asleep in class. Also, I'm pretty confident that about a quarter of the class doesn't understand the words coming out of my mouth when I teach. The only problem is, that those students make no effort to pay attention or attempt to understand (because they're either zoning out or dozing off). Even after I explain things and repeat things 2 times, students still don't know what I'm talking about. You're thinking, "Well maybe you're just an awful teacher Wendy!" But quite honestly, I am explaining simple things in the simplest way possible, it's just that some students don't listen. Like today in class, I explained what a topic sentence was to the class. Then I called on Leo to explain what a topic sentence was. He didn't know, cuz um, he was asleep. Then immediately after I explain to Leo and make him repeat a sentence, I call on another student named Penn to give the definition of a topic sentence. And he didn't know, cuz um, he was zoning out. And I just didn't know what the hell to do, because at this point I have explained it 5 times, and half the class knows what's going on, and I feel like an idiot for saying the same thing over and over when most of the people understand, but a handful don't. Do I stop class and hand-hold the ones who don't understand? Or do I just leave them to get further behind?

And the thing is, outside of class I freaking love these students. I've been to dinner with them; I've had lunch with them. I have conversations with them outside of class and I freaking love them. They're pleasant and lively and funny. But in class, I can't get them to be freaking awake. I don't understand. What I should do is give them more hands-on activities. But how do I take the time to do the activities and still make sure that I get through the textbook by the end of the year?

Now for CSP Qinghua, a class that I also see only twice a week.

Oh yeah, did you know that my school has two campuses in Beijing? That means that twice a week, when I go to teach my CSP Qinghua class, I have to commute for 40 minutes each way to teach for a one-hour long class.

I live at the ErWai college campus. And I teach 3 of my 5 sections at the ErWai campus, in an academic building that is literally right next to my dorm building. And I teach 2 of my 5 sections at the Qinghua campus, which is actually quite close to ErWai, but because of the heinous traffic, it takes nearly an hour each way.

The CSP Qinghua class is the class that I nearly cried in front of yesterday. Not because of any real reason. This class has got the largest ability gap of all my classes. There is one woman in the class who is pretty much fluent in English. She has lived in England for several years, and she is married to a British man, so yeah, she's pretty much fluent. I don't really understand why she's in the class, since she's worlds better than the other students. So a lot of the time, I feel a lot of pressure to teach her something, since I feel like she's not learning anything from me. But in the exact same section, there are students who are literally incoherent. I have one student (the one whom I had the infamous "did you write about day or night? yes. did you write about day? yes. did you write about night? yes." conversation with) who cannot form a single correct sentence in the class.

Why isn't she in a lower section you ask? Well I wonder the same thing. And to be honest, process in China is process in China and sometimes it doesn't make sense but you just have to go with it. I know this doesn't make much sense, but I'll write a post about this later. But the simple answer: No fucking clue.

Anyways, this class makes me so frustrated. Mainly because they are so fucking antsy. Writing is usually the last class of the day, and on days that they have writing class, they have to stay an hour later than usual; so yeah, no one wants to be there. And this class especially, expresses this sentiment in a physical way. I have students who are asleep. I have students who are shaking their legs the whole time, checking their watches, just itching to get out. I have students who whisper to each other in Chinese. I have students who are doing homework for other classes. And I just don't know what to do. I just feel completely powerless and disrespected. I just think to myself, "How can you disrespect me so much to fall asleep in my fucking face, while I am standing right next to your desk talking at you?" And yesterday it was just too much for me, and I wanted to cry, but I didn't. And the problem is, that again with this class, I love them after class, and before class, when we're just having conversations. But in class, I hate them and I want to rip their little heads off. And sometimes I do have my little power tripping lectures with them. And it's getting harder and harder for me to be pleasant with them outside of class when they fucking disrespect me in class. And I just don't know what to do. Part of me just wants to show up to class, and say, "you don't want to fucking be here? You're not going to listen to me? You're not going to pay attention? Why don't we all just fucking leave?! Because I do not want to be here any more than you do you little brats!" And these are full grown adults. And the problem is that as a student I have the same bad habits. I don't pay attention all the time. Sometimes I get really drowsy in class. Sometimes I do homework for other classes. And as a student I always thought, "It's not personal." But as a teacher, I am taking it fucking personal. It is so fucking personal. And maybe that's my problem, maybe I should just let it go. And keep talking even if no one is listening. But then I just feel like a damn useless ineffective teacher. And if I just give them games to do all the time, then I'll just feel like I'm not providing them enough hard knowledge. Fuck, life is complicated. AHHHH! When I think about this class, I just want to scream. I want to punish them and make them do 50 push-ups or something.

Next is my GES class. I teach them reading, idioms, and pronunciation. This class is fine. I don't feel much of a connection to this class since I started teaching them 6 weeks into the semester. Also because they're the highest level, I feel like they don't need me as much, so I feel like I'm not teaching them much. I think that they like me (I hate that it's so important that the students not only learn from me, but like me too). There are 3 students in the class who are obviously placed in a level that is way too hard for them. 1 student in particular is extremely socially awkward, performs the worst, and quite honestly might have some sort of disorder. This is also quite a difficult position for a teacher. I have some students who are very obviously depressed and obviously has shit going down outside of class (based on the things that they write in their assignments and their body language in class), but what is my role to do anything about it as a teacher? And these are the students who are performing poorly in class. And this will sound horrible, but sometimes it's not only knowing what the best thing to do for the student is, but caring enough to actually take the time to do it. And so far, I haven't done anything. And with the one socially awkward student in my class, she is obviously ostracized by the other students. Often when I tell students to work in groups, she is left out from the group so she works silently alone. At lunch, sometimes she sits in the classroom by herself. During the halloween party, she wore this completely bizarre costume and either danced by herself or sat alone in an empty area. And of course as a teacher I make an effort to talk to her, to spend time with her, to do work with her, but I am also human. And as awful as this sounds, I also hate having to put in all the effort and energy to deal with someone who is very very awkward and has a very very low ability for speaking English. So it's true, I want to focus on the good-looking students, on the students who perform the best in class, on the students who are outgoing and likable.

And lastly is my Sunday class. Yes people, I have to work on Sundays. This is what happens when you work for a private school for adults (with a president that really only cares about making as much money from Chinese people as possible). I work from 9a-12p every Sunday. Only 3 hours, but it still puts a damper on my weekend, since it pretty much means I can't go out on Saturday night since I have to wake up early on Sunday. Part of me is kinda grateful, cuz I always feel so productive when I wake up early and have the afternoon free; but still I hate it. This class is quite small (only 4-8 people each week) and each week seems to be a different set of students. I really don't think it's effective for them, but I guess any little bit helps. And I teach these students business. Hah. Again, I pretty much teach the textbook, and go through exercises so it's not that difficult. But I usually only prepare for the upcoming class the night before or the morning of the class, so it's definitely not my A game. Sometimes I'm bored by my own teaching, so now I've decided to just focus more on speaking activities. Though I hate the fact that I pretty much teach my students materialism (half of my activities involve them trying to sell a product).

All this drama and pent up frustration over just 20 hours a week. Gosh, you must seriously be wondering what the big deal is. But seriously, these classes are pretty much all I think about; that is when I'm not thinking about how annoying some of the other teachers are or about how much I miss my family and friends and college and L.A. or about how I'm an incompetent/unproductive ass who is wasting away. So yeah, you can imagine how all this can bring a person down.

Seasons.

Living in Beijing has proven to me that 4 seasons, in fact, do exist. Having lived in Los Angeles my entire life (in fact, the only times I have not lived in Los Angeles have been when I've been living in Beijing), I thought that winter came when I had to switch from wearing skirts with my flip-flops to wearing jeans with my flip-flops; when it went from 80+ degrees in the summer to a whopping 60 degrees in the winter.

And being in Beijing now, in autumn, I feel pretty excited to experience a true fall and winter. Autumn really is a beautiful season. The trees on campus are turning golden yellow, and the leaves are drying up and falling down.

It started getting cold about 3 weeks ago, but I think I've been adjusting well. And when I say cold, I mean cold by L.A. standards. The temperature here is in the 40s and 50s during the day and drops down to the 30s at night (I'm still thinking in Fahrenheit). I was really cold in the beginning, but now that I've started wearing my pea coat, with scarf, beanie, gloves, and leggings under my jeans (yes folks, we have to wear long underwear every day), I've gotten better at adjusting to the cold. Maybe in a few weeks I'll break out the infamous ear muffs.

But it is only going to get colder. Colder and dryer and grayer. I am not looking forward to the days when all the trees in the city will be barren branches. And I'm thinking that it will probably snow here in January. Though I'm dreading the idea of living in snow and cold, to be honest part of me is a little excited about it. I want to experience it, and prove to myself that I can be hardcore and handle the cold. And then I want to run back to L.A. and stay in the sun forever because after a few days of being cold, I'm pretty sure I'd trade in my long johns for a pair of flip-flops.

But for now, I walk around Beijing decked out in my autumn gear (I need to buy more layers for true winter weather) thinking, "I am so intense. It never gets this cold in Los Angeles, even in the dead of winter. Look at me, I am super hard-core./ Omg omg it's so cold. I wish I had a ski mask to keep my nose warm. Ahh I hate wearing long underwear!" Yes, I'm deep, I know.

esl learners say the darndest things

Correcting student homework is a giant pain in the ass, but what makes it less painful is when I come across a hilarious sentence that a student writes. Sometimes the hilarity happens accidentally (since the students don't fully grasp the connotations of certain words). Sometimes it's just outrageous since Chinese culture is definitely different than American culture, and what's considered "appropriate" is just completely different.

For example, one of my students Joe, wrote in his homework... (the assignment was to practice using "because" correctly)..."I want to find a wife because I'm very lazy." HAH! Well, at least he's upfront about it? WOW is all I can say.

And on a less slap-in-the-face patriarchal note, another student for a similar assignment, practicing using "because" (The students were supposed to pretend they were teachers and write a letter to the government requesting more money) randomly signed his letter "Jack Sparrow." I laughed outloud at this one.

There are a bunch more, but I didn't take the time to write them down (since I'm usually scrambling at the last minute to finish it all in time).

Happy post/ Photo mania!

Since I haven't uploaded any photos in a really long time, this is gonna be a big one (hah, overused The Office quote here). I've decided to date the photos and present them in reverse chronological order (with captions!)

Friday, November 9, 2007This is a photo of my world culture class (some students are missing). The teachers decided to treat the students to dinner because they won the Halloween costume contest. We ate at the restaurant above the swimming pool on campus. Yummy in my tummy; though it would've been yummier if I didn't have to avoid the spicy dishes because of my sore throat. Wahh.


Saturday, November 3, 2007
Some of my students invited me to go shopping with them, at 8:30 in the morning! We took the subway and bus for over an hour to go to TianYi market (which is the same market I ventured to when I was abroad). We only stayed there for 20 minutes because the students didn't like the clothes, so we took the bus to another market. There I bought a bajillion and a half pairs of earrings for myself and my little sister. Then we ate hot pot. We ordered wayyy too much food. I didn't get the boots or the coat I had been longing for. The students were majorly disappointed.


Friday, October 26, 2007

Halloween Partay! I literally spent over two hours searching for the perfect dance party '90s jock jams mix to play for the kiddos. This is me with some teachers. The teachers wanted to go for the beauty pageant contestants from each of our states, but I wanted to dress up and embarrass myself in front of the students so I tied a bunch of balloons to myself and went as a bunch of grapes (A California grape from Napa Valley!). I don't think any of the students could guess what I was. And then some snotty boys starting chasing me and popping my balloons.

My boys! All these boys bought the same costume. Cute as all hell. I heart these boys so much. They were too shy to dance, and just kept shoving their friends into the circle.

Sunday, October 21, 2007
This was on a Sunday afternoon after teaching at the Qinghua campus. That's the new CCTV tower in construction. Kinda crazy huh? They're in the process of building a part that is going to connect the two leaning towers.

This is a mock-up of what the final product is going to look like. Crazy huh? Oh yeah, just imagine a layer of brown pollution and a bunch of other buildings covering half of the structure to imagine what the real thing will look like.

Seriously, this is just an example of why China is so amazing. After buying a knock-off power cord for my laptop, I found these two men trying to balance this mess of metal frames and poles on a tricycle cart.

Saturday, October 20, 2007
My third time at the Summer Palace ever. I've got to say this was my most favorite time at the Summer Palace. It was a nice sunny fall day, and it was so relaxing. I could just lay on the rocks by Kunming Lake forever.

Check out the gorgeous sun on the gorgeous lake through the gorgeous trees. And paddle boats! I didn't go on one since we didn't have enough time.

My third time to the Summer Palace but this was actually my first time on this bridge and the little island area. Pretty stuff.

This is the marble boat. That's right, a boat, made out of marble. It looked a lot dinkier than I remember. Yes I just called a marble boat dinky.


Sunday, October 14, 2007
My first ride on the new Number 5 subway line that opened up a few weeks ago. This subway line is ni-ice. I'm talking nice. The other subway lines in Beijing are really old, and so the train cars are dirty and worn. But in addition to the trains being brand new, they made the station all tourist friendly, with Beijing advertisements all over the place and Chinese art and everything.

And of course, part of that means making things look really "Chinese," like traditional Chinese, as shown by the banisters of this staircase. P.S. That person on the left is posing for a picture.

I felt really cheesy and touristy wanting to take pictures of a new subway line, but then I reached the platform and literally every single person there was taking pictures. I think everyone is really impressed by how clean it is and that there are sliding doors (which none of the other lines in Beijing have). There were soo many people taking pictures it was kinda ridiculous. In fact there were people taking pictures of people taking pictures!!! Redonkulous. And inside the train they have the poles that jut out in three for more handle space (like the ones in Bangkok), and an electronic light that shows what stop is coming up next.

Saturday, October 13, 2007
Partying for Tori's birthday. It was a theme party, so it explains the outfits.

Monday, October 8, 2007
Dinner at a delicious sushi restaurant. The restaurant reminded me of something I would find in L.A. It was sooo yummy, and there was avocado!!! I went a second time and gorged myself on tons and tons and tons of free sushi. I found out the owner is a Chinese American guy from SoCal, who is not so generous since the "free" dinner didn't end up being free after all (it was still free for me though since I bailed before the check came)

Sunday, October 7, 2007
"Reunion" dinner (from the National Holiday vacation) with the teachers at Vineyard Cafe. I got lovely red wine and delicious cheesy lasagna from this place. LOVE it.

Sunday, September 30, 2007
Woke up at 4:30 am to go see the flag-raising at Tian'anmen Square. Look at how dark it still was! This was at 5:30 am for the 6:00am flag raising. There was already a crowd. And this guard was literally falling asleep while standing up. I felt sorry for him. Who knows how long he's been standing out there in the cold?

Even though it was the national holiday weekend, the flag raising was pretty uneventful. I mean, it is exactly how it sounds. Guards march out holding the flag, they play the national anthem and they raise the flag. I bet it would've been better if I could actually see something. Too bad practically everyone is the same damn height so all I could see was the back of people's heads. And personal space is non-existent here, so I was pretty up close and personal with some Chinese people.

They had all these special floral arrangements and decorations on Tian'anmen Square for the National Holiday. Behind me is the Monument to the People's Heroes. And the giant picture? I actually have no idea what that guy's name is, but I've seen his picture on a lot of stuff, especially Chinese school books in the states. And yes, it was cold cold cold that morning and everyone was looking at me like a freak for wearing flip-flops.

The Olympic countdown outside the Chinese National Museum. I've never been and it's closed for renovations until years from now. I am bummed, and feeling stupid for not going when I was here two years ago.
Guards marching across the street to enter Tian'anmen Square.

After hanging out at Tian'anmen, I found my way to a baozi (steamed bun) shop. Since it was so early in the morning, they were unloading lots of veggies. Here is a bunch of bok choy. Omg, I've never seen so much bok choy in my life. I kinda don't think they wash veggies before cooking them here, just speculation though. The guy is using the cleaver to slice these bunches of bok choy.

Saturday, September 29, 2007
In the lobby of the Forbidden City concert hall for the Chinese fold music concert.

Look at the outfits! They're uh, kinda awesome, and pink. The instrument on the left is the plucking instrument.

Friday, September 28, 2007
A night out at Area bar. This place was gorgeous. All these curtains and beds to relax on. It felt like a nice club in L.A. that I could probably never afford.

So we showed up ridiculously early and of course were the first ones there. We assumed it would be more happening as it got later into the night. But we ended up being only 1 of two groups of people there. But it was soo much fun cuz it just meant that we dominated the dance floor. :-)

Yayyy all caught up on pictures!

the joys of teaching

Sometimes teaching is just one big power trip. One of my faults is that I definitely do not check my moods at the door. If I am in a bad mood, I teach in a bad mood and take it out on my students. I get impatient and at times spiteful. It is absolutely horrible. Earlier today, I think one of my students was talking on her cell phone. (I'm not really sure if she was, but she had the phone to her head. And I was not happy with it). It took me 15 minutes to realize that she didn't even have the workbook that we were reading from. I seriously considered stopping the lesson, embarrassing her in front of the class, and kicking her out. But instead I just decided to give her a workbook silently. It might have worked to embarrass her anyways since everyone in class noticed. And for the rest of the period I stood at the back of the classroom, which was an interesting experience.

I have horrible chalkboard handwriting. Apparently people take classes to learn how to use a chalkboard effectively. I think I need to take that class. I write so slowly, and my handwriting is so messy; it's embarrassing.

In other happy news, I am getting a cold sore on my upper lip. It is not pretty. So not not pretty. Luckily, I have some cream that I brought with me from the States, so it's preventing it from breaking out in a giant bloody open sore. But that's not to say it won't eventually happen. How embarrassing, especially in a profession where people are looking at my mouth all freaking day. Perfect timing though, I get a horrible sore throat (to the point where I have to suck on cough drops during class in front of students) and then I get a cold sore. It's funny how the immune system works.

One more thing to add to the list of reasons why I hate having a job: Still having to work while you're sick.

Gosh, what a downer post. I swear I'll give a cheery-er post next time, with pictures!

Hodge Podge

which could potentially be really awful depending on who actually reads my blog.

Just random recap of my weeks here since the last post.

Today, I saw a couple having an argument in the middle of campus. The woman was in tears and loudly groaning and occasionally slapping her partner. And of course the first thought in my head was, "Just break up! Just break up! Break up!" Then I realized how insensitive I was being. They're probably in the process of breaking up, and I remember how hard something like that is, so then I mentally chided myself. And the second thing I thought about was why they would be having such a private conversation in such a seemingly public place. Then I remembered that maybe a public courtyard is more private than doing it in your dorm room, since nearly everyone lives in a dorm room with at least 5 other people. That's right people. 6 people to a room! 3 sets of bunk beds, and that's pretty much it. I don't know how they do it. And every day I feel that lucky to have my own bedroom and bathroom.

It happened, for the second time. I started laughing in the middle of teaching. Today it happened in reading class, when I got really excited about telling the students about Left Eye (from TLC) and her fire incident. The article we were reading was about why some people start fires on purpose. The first time I cracked up in class was a few weeks ago when I was teaching my writing class at the Tsinghua campus. Now you have to keep in mind, I teach writing to three sets of students. Usually, the students are done with classes at 3:20 pm. But once a week (for a set of students, twice a week), they have to stay an hour later, and take my class. So you can imagine how antsy they are in my class. During this one period in particular, the kids were all over the place, would not listen, just stared off, whispered to each other, and it was just too ridiculous. I think sometimes students don't realize the view teachers have of the classroom. I'm standing at the front of the class! I see you sleeping/staring/talking! And they act soooo surprised when I call on them when I know they're not paying attention. At one point the whole situation was too funny, I was just in complete disbelief and had to just start laughing in class. I don't think anyone else knew why. I tried to hide behind my book, but it was just too strong.

I've got this horrible sore throat. I'm not sick just yet, but I'm sure it's coming. I've been screaming a lot. Not yelling at the students. Just projecting like crazy. Reasons. 1. The acoustics in some of the classrooms are horrible. Just echo like mad. 2. Sometimes I get really annoyed at the students not paying attention, so for some stupid reason I just think, well if I talk louder then they won't be able to sleep! 3. Talking louder helps my pronunciation, at least I think it does. It's a lot easier to do the clear-talking, patronizing, enunciation when you're half-way screaming. I can't help myself. I don't think the students notice though. I think they just think I'm trying to be really clear. (I have gotten compliments on my pronunciation. GO California accent! P.S. I'm the only teacher here from California).

Sometimes I think I'm an awful teacher. I have reached that level of impatience where I've resorted to singling out and embarrassing the students who don't listen. Common technique. I'm at the front of the class talking. Student A is obviously not paying attention. Student A is outrightly talking to another student while I'm talking. Whoa, major disrespect. What makes me more evil is that while this is happening I'm thinking, "Student A, what the hell do you think you're doing talking while I'm talking. Of all the damn people in the class, you of all people should be paying attention," while I mock their inability to speak English properly in my head.

Then I call on the student. I ask, "Student A, question question question." Silence. Again, "Student A, question question question." Still silence. "Student A, question question question." (If you haven't noticed, I'm a big fan of repeating myself 15 times). Then I step up the assholish-ness to a brand new level. "Student A, do you know the answer?" Silence. "No?" Silence, occasional shaking of the head. "Why don't you know the answer?" "You don't know the answer because you were talking, while I was talking. (Imagine lots and lots of pausing and nodding while I'm saying this) Why are you at this school? Why are you learning English? If you actually want to learn English, then you need to pay attention in class, RIGHT? You can speak Chinese anytime you want after class, but when you are in class, you need to speak in English, OKAY?" Then I continue on with my patronizing slow teacher-speak for the rest of class. And I feel so awful that I have to just look at the rest of the class and only look back at Student A occasionally. And at the end of class, I feel absolutely exhausted and drained and like a big fat meanie, which I am. And that is why I deserve to have a sore throat right now. But seriously? You'd be surprised how many students fall right back asleep/go right back to not paying attention right after I called them out on their shit.

Oh Wendy and your procrastinating, slow to change ways. I finally cleaned up the pile of laundry that has been sitting on my floor for the past 2 weeks. ie. I re-hung all my dirty clothes because I'm too lazy to actually do laundry. I think few people would guess this about me, but I'm actually really disgusting. For the past 2-3 weeks, I had been wearing worn dirty socks, every day, because I didn't want to do laundry (in my defense, laundry is a major pain here in China, since there are no dryers. And the washing machines here really suck and everything comes out with lint all over it). But yeah, I still need to sweep up all the dust and hair that has accumulated over the past few weeks. This morning a woman knocked on my door and asked me if I wanted a cleaning service (since our dorm building doubles as a hotel, and I think I'm living in one of the designated "hotel" rooms, so she probably got mixed up that morning), but I said no because I was too embarrassed about my room (and cuz I was in a rush).

I'm thinking about getting into astrology. Completely out of character I know. But something about this non-sense kinda intrigues me. I'm a cancer. Cancers are apparently really emotional, sensitive, clingy, social and reserved, full of contradictions, procrastinators. I would say all those are true about me except for the clingy part. But then again, I know that this zodiac stuff is written to fit practically everyone, and people always only pick out the points that are accurate to focus on. But yeah, still fun.

I've kinda sorta been drinking a lot of Long Island Iced Teas. That's not really healthy. Granted it's a step up from my previous drink of choice (vodka redbull), but yeah, that's not saying much as far as my class/taste level.

Oh yeah, I got a massage two weeks ago, and it pretty much felt like someone beat up my back. It was awesome. And I was majorly sore afterwards.

And I went shopping with some of my students this past weekend. It was fun, but exhausting. We went at 8:30 in the morning on a Saturday! By choice (of course not mine, but still.. their choice!).

Also, today I discovered this awesome chicken lettuce sandwich type thing here. A sandwich!? The thing I've been craving. It's kinda a cross between a pita and a burger sandwich. They slice fatty roast chicken off a skewer, mix it up with lettuce and onions and douse it in sauce. They stuff it into a round pita bun. And we eat directly from the plastic bag. Golden.

Hey everyone! I got a new niece! I am now the aunt to 2 nephews and 2 nieces! And for anyone that missed the memo, I'm going to Mexico in May of 2008. Puerto Vallarta and maybe (probably) L.A.

Too lazy to update

But I wanted to tell you that I got a new student in one of my classes named T-Mac. Yes, T-Mac, after Tracy McGrady of the Houston Rockets. I had to have him write his name down on a sheet of paper, just to confirm what I actually heard. He wrote his name down, and told me that the hyphen was for "decoration."

Just a short post on the English names my Chinese students have picked for themselves. Some are straight-up bizarre. The ones that are the worst, are the ones that are perfectly common American English names, but that the student can barely pronounce. And as I've noticed with native Chinese speakers, those are the names with a bunch of R's and L's and TH's. I once met a student named Carl, and it took about 3 and a half minutes for me to figure out what his name was, even after he spelled it out for me.

But as for the really bizarre ones, I have a student named Winy, pronounced just like the name Winnie, but spelled Winy. Oh yes, intentionally. Here's the story. Her Chinese name is Ying, which is translated as the verb "to win." So she used that word, win, and added a Y at the end because her name Ying begins with a Y. Uhhh....Yep, makes perfect sense to me too.

Other favorites: Stone, Penn, Rainy, Maizie, Rocky, and Condy. I've been meaning to ask Condy if he knows about Condoleezza, but I keep forgetting.

CAUTION: This will be the cutest thing you will ever see.

This video actually has nothing to do with China, but it is wayy too cute. And I am celebrating the return of youtube in China! So enjoy. P.S. The baby is my niece Lily.

It's been awhile...

and there is A LOT to update on (because, as my cheesy blog title suggests, every day in China really is an adventure).

I am feeling too lazy to update with pictures (because it takes me a surprisingly long time to upload pictures onto blogger). First I have to choose which pictures to upload, since I take so many stupid pictures. Then i need to wait for them to load onto photobucket first. Afterwards, I need to copy and paste the html link onto blogger and wait for those to load. Then I need to arrange them, and give each of them captions, and blah blah blah. So yeah, no photos tonight. Maybe later this week, when I want to procrastinate even further with grading.

Let's see what I've been up to lately.

I went to the summer palace last weekend (on Oct. 20). It was absolutely gorgeous. It was my third time at the summer palace and I have to say, this was probably the best time. It was so relaxing, to sit at the edge of Kunming Lake and just watch the late afternoon sun glistening on the surface of the water. Sitting in the sun, on rocks, under trees. I miss that so much. I wish I could go to the summer palace every weekend to sit in the sun.

Also, before I went on my trip to Inner Mongolia, I got free tickets to go to a Chinese folk music concert at the Forbidden City concert hall. The performance was a special national holiday performance for foreigners working in Beijing. It was really great. All the performers were youth studying in a local music school. There were singers, er'hu players, and other cool musical instruments that I don't know the names of. There's this one instrument that is plucked, that I guess kinda sounds like birds chirping; but the first time I heard it, I swear I thought it was the choir clicking their tongues. And there were these other instruments that I've seen in old school Chinese paintings. And this is going to sound really ignorant of me, but whenever I saw this instrument in the old paintings, I kinda just always assumed it was some imaginary musical instrument, since I had never actually seen one in real life. Durh eurocentric American Wendy.

So freaky bizarre story of the day. Earlier tonight, another teacher and I were having dinner in one of the dining halls on campus. We both had the wonton soup noodles (I swear we have these delicious wonton soup noodles at least once a week, if not more). Anyhow, it started off like any other uneventful meal. But at one point, we see this one guy running down the aisle of the cafeteria tables, right past us, and towards the exit. Two other guys dressed all in black were chasing after him. And I mean sprinting after the guy.

About 5 feet before the original guy (the guy being chased) gets to the exit, the other two guys catch up to him, and start beating the crap out of him. I mean really really kicking the crap out of him. One guy is holding him, while the other guy is punching him in the face, and kneeing him in the chest. And I mean over and over and over. Not letting up at all.

Meanwhile, everyone else in the cafeteria is sitting silently staring at the fight. No one did anything. No one was screaming for it to stop. No one approached the men to try to break it up. No one got out their cell phones to call security. Literally, everyone was captivated, deer in headlights, staring at the fight.

I was really scared because I didn't know when it was going to end, since no one was interfering. I mean, in the States, someone would have interfered by now to pull the people away from each other. But not here. It got to a point where I was even considering jumping in the middle of it, to freak them out and get them to stop hitting the guy. Obviously that was a ridiculously stupid idea, so I didn't actually do it.

And by then, the two guys had pinned the other guy on the floor on his back. They continued to pound and pound on him, one guy struggling to wrestle something from original man's grip. He finally snatches it away and holds up the bag and screams into the cafeteria, "Whose bag is this?!?! Whose bag is this?!!?" Absolute. dead. silence. No one said a word. He keeps shouting, "Whose bag is this?! Whose bag is this?!?!" Again, no one responded.

I was really freaked out at this point since I was scared that maybe they had made a huge mistake by beating up a completely innocent random guy, that it might actually be the beaten up guy's own bag, and not a stolen bag. But then the beater-upper-guy, with the bag in his hand, pulls out a walkie talkie from his jacket and starts talking into it. Then literally, no joke, everyone in the cafeteria breaks into applause.

Meanwhile, the "bag snatcher" is still getting beaten up and pounded on by walkie-talkie man's sidekick. A moment later, a woman walks up and claims the bag. Then a giant giant crowd forms near the entrance around the bag snatcher, who is literally pinned to the ground. And I swear it looks like the two guys (who I guess are security guards?) are trying to break his arm off or dislocate his shoulder. I couldn't really see what happened next, since the giant crowd was blocking my view. But they took the guy away somewhere.

But seriously, even if those guys were school security guards, they were being wayy wayy too violent. It was bizarre and scary, and a little traumatizing. Probably the scariest part was that absolutely no one did anything to intervene. I mean, one of the guys could've taken out a knife and stabbed and killed someone in front of everyone in the cafeteria, and no one would've done a damned thing. Granted, that's a bit extreme, but I'm pretty sure people would've still just sat and stared. It's times like this when I really feel the culture difference.

You know, I had never thought of the whole collectivist/individualist difference in this way before, until I heard a speaker in Shanghai. I mean, we learn about collectivism and individualism in introductory psychology. I always hated talking about it, because I felt like when we learned about it, it was implied that individualism was not just different from collectivism, but better (Hello, we're Americans. We're taught to be individuals from elementary school). And for the longest time I refused to believe there was actually a difference. And before coming to China this time around, I envisioned collectivists as people who were inclusive of everyone in their entire country/culture. That collectivists didn't just think of themselves and their own needs (like selfish Americans do), but that they were considerate of everyone else and put their own needs last. So I thought collectivist people would act overly nice, generous, selfless, polite, and pushovers to everyone they met; basically, all the stereotypes of Asians in the U.S.

So when I came to China, I was honestly a little put off by how "rude" people were (rude according to U.S. etiquette). I mean, people shove into you to get onto a subway train, people will steal the seat from you on a bus, people will literally grab you by the shoulders to move you to the side so that they can get past you, people will cut right in front of you in line, people will bump you while walking on the road and not apologize. And granted, it's not everyone but it's happened enough for me to notice and complain about it. And I dunno about you, but all that sounds pretty individualist to me. "Hey you, get out of my way, I want a seat on the train, so I am going to push right past you and make sure I get that seat no matter what!"

And it didn't make any sense at all to me until this speaker explained the inner circle outer circle aspect of collectivism to me. Yes, collectivist people are caring, considerate, selfless, but only to people within their inner circle (ie. family, friends, co-workers), but they don't give a crap about anyone else, cuz hey, you're not in my inner circle. That explains all the seemingly "rude" and contradictory actions I get from strangers. I am not in their inner circle, so they don't need to treat me like a friend. Collectivism is about keeping your friends close, and not really giving a damn about anyone else. In fact, everyone else can go to hell, cuz they ain't in my inner circle, so I don't care if I bump into them, shove them, cut in front of them in line. They don't mean anything to me. And that is also why people don't get involved when they see a man get absolutely beat up in public. And that is why they just stand by and stare, no questions asked. Not because they're emasculated silent cowards. But because they don't know those people, so they have no reason to know or care about what happens to those strangers. So collectivism ain't so simple after all. And individualists? For being selfish assholes, we're pretty darn polite and considerate.

This post has got its issues. It's still written in an us-them way. I don't identify as being collectivist (and to be perfectly honest, I find myself putting more value in individualist qualities than in collectivist qualities) but I'm definitely not purely individualist either. I'm definitely a little of both, which I feel justifies me in being able to generalize about both sides, when obviously I can't. But this is my blog, so I get to write whatever I want, and if you don't like it, then DEAL! (hahaha, gosh, I love using that excuse.)

Anyhow, remind me later to talk about that other traumatizing thing I witnessed last week, involving a man getting hit/almost getting hit/pretending to get hit by a taxi, that I was sitting in! Ugh, too much drama in one post.

Onto happier subjects.

This past Friday (on Oct. 26), our school had a Halloween dance for the students. We cleared out one of the classrooms, decorated it with black and orange paper pumpkins and vampires and real pumpkin jack-o-lanterns. We turned out the lights, blasted my very own music mix of jock jams meets the Middle School Music Party Series Soundtrack of every party I ever had in college, and had a full blown dance party.

And by full blown dance party, think awkward junior high dance. I knew it would happen. A giant circle formed, with absolutely no one in the center, then one by one, or two by two, people were shoved into the center. Every single person resisted of course. And then there were the boys who sat along the sides of the room most of the time, only getting up once to attempt to break dance, and failing miserably. There were the women who stayed in their clique by the snack table, swaying ever so slightly, wanting so badly to dance, but feeling just a little too self-conscious to actually do it. And then there were us, the obnoxious American teachers, who just got a little too excited when 'Everybody Dance Now' and 'Tubthumping' got played. We were such a spectacle, students were actually taking pictures of us dancing. Jeez, I didn't think I was that much of a novelty.

A lot of the students actually dressed up, which was really great. There was only one man who decided it would be funny to crossdress, who wasn't even a student at our school, but a crasher, who just ruined the mood by being way too over the top, acting like he was high on something, and flailing a fake pistol in the air (which by the way was actually a piece of metal piping). I was actually frightened. But I think he got kicked out.

I dressed up as a grape, not creative. I tied balloons all over myself, and wore a sash that said California on it (Napa Valley? California grapes? California raisins?). All the other teachers decided to be beauty pageant contestants from their own state, so they each had sashes. I had one, but you know how I am, I had to be over the top ridiculous and silly. Few of the Chinese students actually knew what I was. They just thought I tied a bunch of balloons to myself. About 20 minutes into the party, one student (the one who is in love with Arnold Schwarzenegger and who is kinda creepy and in his 20s) decided to pop one of my balloons. Then he got the other boys in his clique to start popping my balloons too. It got to a point where the boys were following me, trying to pop my balloons. It was extremely uncomfortable, since I felt like they were flirting with me and picking on me at the same time. Extremely uncomfortable.

I think that's all I want to update on now. This has turned out to be a ridiculously long post. I promise, more pictures next time!

My Mailing Address

Send me stuff!

Just copy and paste the Chinese address onto a word document, print out the address and tape it onto an envelope. You can also just write the address in English.

北京第二外国语学院

世界交流英语学院

2号教学楼110室

北京市朝阳区定福庄南里１号

100024

BEIJING, P.R. CHINA

Beijing WECL English College

Beijing Second Foreign Languages College

No. 1 Ding Fu Zhuang Nan Li

No. 2 Teaching Building, Room 110

Chaoyang District

Beijing, P.R. China

100024

Photos of my campus

I wanted to take pictures of my campus while it's still autumn and pretty. Once winter comes, campus is going to look gray and cold and depressing.


That's a picture of the north gate of campus. Crossing this intersection is crazy crazy. Cars do not yield to pedestrians, and people drive on the opposite side of the road (temporarily yes, but still scary).


This is the hallway of the main teaching building. It's very cold and drafty. And on either end of the hall there are restrooms, and somehow, the smell of the bathrooms manage to find its way throughout the ENTIRE hallway. Not pleasant at all.


This is the front of our office. I love that the paint is chipping and that letters have fallen off our name sign, and no one cares at all!


This is a view inside our office, where I make copies and print stuff.


This is a view of the main walkway leading to the north gate. Doesn't it look gorgeous? At the start of the semester there were flowers planted all along the walkway and there were giant red inflatable archways.

This is the outside of our dorm. It's probably the nicest dorm on campus. I honestly don't know why there is so much glass. None of the Chinese student dorms are like this. Maybe it's so that they can stare at the foreign people?

This is a walkway by my dorm in between the tennis courts (which are right in front of my dorm, and right next to the teaching building). People are rollerblading and skating between these tiny cups. It looks so fun!

The autumn sun makes the campus look so happy and gorgeous (which it is), but I am simply dreading winter.

Enjoy some Videos

I took the first video across the street from my campus while waiting for the bus one afternoon. I didn't do narration since I didn't want the people around me to notice me filming (and because I think my voice sounds weird on recordings... doesn't everyone?). So read my narration below if you want to hear me explain everything.

The tall buildings are giant apartment complexes, which are found all over Beijing. A lot of units in newer buildings are empty, since the rent is too expensive.

In the center divider is construction that has been going on since I arrived. I have no idea what they're doing. But they have reduced the road to one lane in each direction, which means MORE TRAFFIC!

The TKL thing is the supermarket where I buy all my stuff.

Next to the supermarket are lots of little shops. Each of the clothing shops are like boutiques, since they usually have only one of each item in only one size.

That's an example of a broken up sidewalk, which is pretty much how all sidewalks in Beijing are. I hate them because it means I can't wear flip-flops around.

People are waiting for the bus.

People are getting off the bus. So many of the buses are brand new, probably for the Olympics.





This next video is actually quite boring. It's a short clip of a welcoming ceremony the school had for foreign teachers. I had to take a video because during the entire ceremony I just kept repeating in my head, "I can't believe this is happening." I mean, on video you can't tell at all, but the rest of the room was standing around awkwardly listening as the sound was blasting out of massive speakers with that ridiculous echo. The echo made it seem like we were at some sporting event in a giant stadium. But everyone was being so formal and completely not acknowledging the awful sound set-up. I honestly think the echo was intentional, you know, for dramatic effect. Here, they're introducing the different campus administrators.