esl learners say the darndest things

Correcting student homework is a giant pain in the ass, but what makes it less painful is when I come across a hilarious sentence that a student writes. Sometimes the hilarity happens accidentally (since the students don't fully grasp the connotations of certain words). Sometimes it's just outrageous since Chinese culture is definitely different than American culture, and what's considered "appropriate" is just completely different.

For example, one of my students Joe, wrote in his homework... (the assignment was to practice using "because" correctly)..."I want to find a wife because I'm very lazy." HAH! Well, at least he's upfront about it? WOW is all I can say.

And on a less slap-in-the-face patriarchal note, another student for a similar assignment, practicing using "because" (The students were supposed to pretend they were teachers and write a letter to the government requesting more money) randomly signed his letter "Jack Sparrow." I laughed outloud at this one.

There are a bunch more, but I didn't take the time to write them down (since I'm usually scrambling at the last minute to finish it all in time).